Wednesday, 14 November 2018

Return of the Rant!

So, what has been happening....

This week’s mailer was going to be a whole different kettle of fish. I had tried to review a book (a comic that will remain anonymous for the moment) but after a second attempt to read it I just couldn’t find anything positive so say.

Then I thought that I wouldn’t post it at all. None of the below.

But then again what is a blog if it isn’t a way to post what you are thinking/feeling?

Back to that aforementioned comic.

(No I wont tell you who made it).

I had heard that this was a well selling comic and that it was good. I tried folks, I really, really tried to get through the pages of sub proficient faux manga melodrama. I tried to fight through the themes of diversity that to me seemed only there as an obvious and shallow selling point. (Please note that Diversity is good, using it just to sell your comic is not).

I posted a segment of the review on Twitter out of exasperation....

‘I have to admit to never having read this kid’s work. I’ve tried but it came over as obvious and shallow and that dreaded of all words in adult comics ‘cutesy’. It is ass clenchingly obvious in it’s direction and with language written by a random twitter conversation generator for millennials with rainbows and unicorn emojis next to their names.’

What has happened to these people? This gentleman is in his thirties and the comic he’s producing just sounded like baby talk to me. 

Bu, Bu, Bu, biscuit, biscuit from Mummy’. (Not actual dialogue).

The art looks like something a chubby cheeked kid would bring home from school and a posh mum would tell the child how ‘amazing’ the art looks whilst drinking from her second bottle of wine that evening. (SHE IS LYING TO SHUT YOU UP KID!)

Here’s another anonymised segment from the aforementioned piece - 

‘For a generation we’ve told our kids that what they think and say has value. Let’s face it their stupidity and attempts at true art rarely hold any kind of meaning outside of their own insipid instagram page! We’ve coddled and smothered these fat faced imbeciles over the years and told them that they are always the best at whatever crap they think they are good at doing. 

Their publishers have constantly sent them emails of adoration and applause. Nobody is truly fooled here. Lie after lie after fake compliment piles up on top of each other over and over and over again until this becomes some kind of false truth. We begin to accept this as some kind of sub par status quo and that slowly gets rolled along by brainless bimbos into something that pretends to be of value.’

We seem to be growing a generation of fakery. Adults who communicate in gifs and emojis and up-speak their way to casual from an originally comatose state of film-flammery. They think that going to the local newsagent to get a pot noodle is one of life’s hardships and then read and giggle at ‘super funny’ hash tags on Instagram.

I’m seeing a lot of this twattery daily and quite a lot of it gets delivered through my door or in my inbox for an opinion.

How are you enjoying that opinion so far?

Sub Steven Universe (is that a thing?) or bad webcomics seem to be overtaking actual storytelling. The acronym ‘OMG’ is not a story point, it is just three letters that are at best overused.

Of course you cant possibly voice this opinion because people will accuse you of being a ‘hater’ or ‘old’ or ‘out of touch’ or that people should be allowed to show their creativity in all different ways.

This is plainly a load of old C**t.

No I do not care if you are outraged. 

I don’t care that you pretend that your feelings are hurt. No, I will not worry in any way about what you pretend is your moral outrage at my opinion.

Look over there. Look at that crap.

Look over there. Look at me being worried about your opinion.

Let’s all fake scream, run around and adore people who have the drawing ability of my balls.

It’s probably our generation who have brought these tossers up who are to blame. Along with the hand wringing and often quite deluded publishers who are pursuing the diminishing coinage in the industry.

Now go, f off and read a comic (a good well written and well drawn one).

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