Never Insightful and only ever Inciting! Rant Ahoy.

I wrote recently in reply to a friend ‘I write for myself’. I made it out like it was some ying-yang-yonkey quote but it wasn’t. It was just some of the normal grumpy crap that I come up with most hours.

However I still stand by that comment.

I’m not writing anything that doesn’t both contain part of me and also is done with something that I feel is my own ‘style’. Why should I write anything otherwise? Whore myself out to some intellectual property or publisher who wants me to write something I neither feel anything for or agree with.

I seek neither popularity or fame.

Genuinely. Neither interests me.

Where is this going other than me blowing my own trumpet (if only!)

So......(rant ahead)..... recently I’ve been considering the merit of awards. Are they worth all these constant daisy chains of self congratulatory fellatio that we see absolutely everywhere these days.

The recent fart inducing Oscars Ceremony is maybe what was my own personal tipping point but it’s been on my mind in and around comics for a few years now. 

We’ve recently seen some Small Press comics awards handed out. End of the year ‘Best Of’ lists and the like. Everyone is doing one seemingly. On the Awesome Comics Pod we are careful to say that this is a list of our favourites. Who out there could claim to have read everything and so make a ‘Best Of’ valid? Not me and I read multiple comics every day.

Let’s ponder if these winners and short listed comics or graphic novels deserve the applauds they are receiving. It seemingly only takes one person to say that something is ‘inspirational’ or ‘incredible’ or ‘feminist’ for everyone to jump on board the oral pleasure giving train as it leaves the station for Awards Town.

It’s such a small pool of choice and voters that it’s relevance makes it totally irrelevant. A number of readers and their mums pointed at a website and told to vote doesn’t make a ‘Best Comic of 2018’!

So what’s the right approach? Give democracy it’s way and make it a popular vote? Hmmm. ‘Lowest common denominator’ seems like an appropriate term? We all know where the popular consensus has got us? X-Factor, Naked Ambition, Jim Davidson, the Image Revolution of the nineties, Funkos, Talking Bass, PornHub and Brexit! 

Giving an art form over to the plebeian masses seems like a mistake too.

So who runs these comics awards? Sometimes it’s one or two people from a website or organisation that for the rest of the year is wholly ignored. How do you make yourself popular? You hear them biting their nails in their blogpost wankatariums..... 

‘I know! Let’s run an award!’ The idea comes to them like a problem solved by mathematician in a bathtub.

‘Oh?! Flaps.com is running an award? I’ll get in on that action and it’ll give me the chance to promote my ‘brand’. (Said everyone on the internet).

You see people posting links for articles on websites they wouldn’t consider reading otherwise and won’t return to. Awards they’ve slagged off for years but now with a sniff of a present like a home for a starving dog they’ll jump the leg of that organisation to get something, anything.

Let’s face it, loads of these books are derivative bollocks. Often parading themselves around Waitrose like their farts smell of roses and they have a thought in their heads that resembles something close to originality. I’ve seen some unboundless twattery get awards in the last few years. It breaks my heart every time our medium is cheapened like this! People who can neither draw nor write winning awards due to their shouting ‘Look at this, LOOK AT THIS’ in various shameless ways.

One way seems to be by claiming your work is worthy in some way? Lifting it above the people who create without fanfare. Or just constantly, constantly, constantly telling you how great they are with shallow and stained platitudes! Vomit inducing comments about how worthy they and their graphic novels are and how people should look up and worship their unbridled brilliance as they squeeze a peanut littered shit onto your faces. I’ve seen some attention seeking crap in my time but this makes Holly Hagan look positively a hermit.

But...... We are the suckers for taking part in this attention seeking shambles!

We are the mugs.

So.....

Fuck everyone else. Make comics. Enjoy comics. Shout about them. But they ain’t and should never be an avenue for fame and fortune. (Let’s face it the money ain’t really there anymore anyway so what are you left with?) As with everything seemingly on the internet the ‘Look at Me’ generation is bending us over daily.

Pull your trousers up and have some fucking respect for yourself! 

I have to admit that there are whole swathes of reviewers and sites that if they understood what I was writing about I would be mortified.

The idiots rose years ago! Fuck ‘em!  

Not jealousy, not envy, just truth.

If you don’t understand what I am talking about you are either deluding yourselves or ..............